Man up

     What makes a man? A simple enough question on the surface...but is it?  The answer probably rests in the circles in which the question is posed. The answer would probably differ greatly  dependent on geography, culture, age and past experiences. I think that in the past, a definite stereotype was present in society of what was expected of the men in this country. An evolution has occurred since the image of the caveman emerging from his cave with a large club to walk to the closest female, strike her over the head and drag her back to his cave by her hair...or has it?

     Personally I am a firm believer in certain basic instincts that are embedded deep in the workings of human beings. Animal instincts ,if you will, that have a certain amount of control over the actions of us men, like it or not. Our ability to refine and control some instincts is a true test of our strength. In a sampling of men picked at random, a wide variety of personalities and levels of control would be obvious. That being said, I also believe that we need those different levels in the world today. For the men standing on the front lines, the military and law enforcement officers, it pays to have an aggressive, alpha male attitude...its necessary  for survival. Sometimes a more refined approach is needed, such as physicians, clergy, and social workers. Not saying that these characteristics cant interchange within these professions, you just cant get much done in confessional if the priest wants to whip your ass for what you say, or the police officer tells the criminals to just say they are sorry. 

     I guess the true test of a man, is the ability to adjust, conform to what is expected of him. To truly understand the situation around him and act accordingly. We ask 18 year old men to put on the uniform of the United States Military, travel to far away lands, and in accordance with his job and training, perform task that result in death and destruction of the enemy, civilians, and sometimes fellow soldiers. To see Hellish images and endure horrible conditions..those of which the common person could NEVER comprehend, then return to society and act like it was all just an extended vacation. We act surprised when a soldier cracks and goes on a rampage, killing civilians, other soldiers, wife and kids. I find it hard to believe that it doesn't happen more often. The military is just starting to understand this problem and attempting to deal with it. 

     We all flock to movies that have the larger than life male action hero. The muscled up, dual weapon toting bad ass with catchy one liners and hot women falling out of his pocket as he clings to helicopters, single handed kills all the bad guys, and gets the princess in the end. That is what Hollywood projects as a man. The other side of the spectrum is The Maury Povich Show in which countless losers are paraded across stage in an attempt to find who da baby daddy is. So obviously the answer of manhood isn't the ability to reproduce...any idiot can do that. 

     So...What makes a man? I think the best characteristic in a man is the ability to be flexible. To be open to what is around him and adjust to fit the needs of the people he cares for. I am a bit old fashioned and believe  that the man should be the foundation of the family. I was raised by just my mother, and she did an awesome job, but if a man looks at himself, his desire should be to be the tree on which the leaves grow. I think that a strong faith in God is required. The understanding that you will have days that you dont feel like you are doing a very good job, and have to rely heavily on your faith to get you through, but you CAN get through it. To be honest with yourself on your abilities..to realize when your in over head and not to take it out on the ones that love you the most. To project your anger towards others, to blame and destroy the lives of people around you is far from being a man. The furthest thing from manhood is a man that will strike a woman or  child. It has been my experience working in law enforcement, that the worse a man treats a woman, the bigger a whimp he is. 

     Some of the best men I know are good family men. Men that i look up to and admire. Men that put their own needs at the end of the list and strive to protect and provide for other people. Whether it be for their family, church, community, or all the above. I am fortunate to work around such men at work and in their volunteer work for the community. The larger a mans heart is, the stronger a man he is. 

     As for me personally, I try everyday to do the best I can, but mistakes are plenty. I try to learn from my experiences and not repeat the bad things. To go forward to improve the quality of life for me and my family and point the direction as my children get older so they can learn to make their own decisions. To be right with God and always reach out a hand to those in need. Didn't do so well today? Well, there is always tomorrow.